Thursday, August 2, 2007

Enhancing Investment Opportunities in the Persian Gulf

From an email that was sent to me:

New economic strategies to enhance your investment opportunities in 2007

DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise in all magazines and Cable TV. You create a Cow City or Milk Town. You sell off their milk before the cows are milked, to both legit and shady investors, who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two month time. You bring Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods to milk the cows to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows, in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples, the gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have the cow at one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other side; or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The gov't tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the govt and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the remaining cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

LEBANON SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria, the other by the Lebanese gov't, both are milked by Syrian Laborers during their free time as informers.

EGYPT SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak!

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows and have no idea what to do with them. It doesn't really matter, you go on strike anyway because you feel you need three cows.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and find out you have five cows. You count again and find out you have eight cows. You count again and out you have 20 cows. You are so happy, you stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad

WOMEN OWNED CORPORATION IN SAUDI ARABIA:
You have two cows and you realize you need someone else to milk them for you so you move them to Dubai where you organize the greatest event ever promoting the two cow's milk, hire a Lebanese to sell the product, an Indian to design the company's website and Some Saudi investors to pay for it all!